How to do a Cord-Cutting Ritual to Heal from an Unhealthy Relationship
What is the Cord, and Why Cut it?
Recently a metaphysical media maven suggested to me that it was a good idea to do energy work to reunite couples even when one member of the couple does not want the reunion. This has been a trick of shyster psychics for generations – some even print claims on their business cards that they can “reunite lost love”.
One of the reasons for doing this kind of work given me by this otherwise compassionate and intelligent individual has to do with the energy field.
The idea is that when people are in relationship their energy fields (auras) meld. When they separate, they are still in each other’s energy fields.
Similar theories suggest that this is true of any relationship, not just romantic relationships. Families are held together by energetic cords even when they are not physically in proximity to one another.
Therefore, the reasoning goes that once we are in each other’s energy fields we are best to stay together.
The problem with the idea that we should strive to always be with the people with whom we share energy is this. Sometimes those people are dangerous to us. Sometimes those people are abusive of us. Sometimes it is simply not healthy for us to be around certain people – even if they are family members, or even if we love them.
It’s important to remember that in romantic relationships love is not the only necessary component. Just because we love someone does not mean we should be partnered with them. Often we need a relationship to fail to figure that out.
I am always puzzled by the people who are sure that a particular person is their destined partner when that particular person is simply not interested, or no longer interested. If a partnership is spiritually ordained can’t we assume that both people would feel it and want it? To suggest to a person struggling with the pain of this situation that there is a magical remedy that could reignite love is simply disingenuous for three (obvious) reasons. First, giving false hope is hurtful. Second, as long as one is clinging to that false hope they are unable to heal. Third, to use energy work to manipulate someone into doing something they would not do on their own breaks many rules of ethics. A person who chooses to be with someone because they have unknowingly received energy work is not acting of their own free will. That cannot be “love” in any sense.
There is something that can be done to help a person who is trying to stay away from an abusive partner or trying to have good boundaries with a toxic family member. A forlorn lover unable to unite or reunite with the person they desire will also find this process helpful and healing. Once the healing is complete the person will be truly free to pursue the relationships that will be most healthy and rewarding.
How to Cut the Cord
This method can be performed for you, or you can perform it yourself. I think most people believe it is best to do it for yourself because the energy will be fed by your own strong emotions.
The ritual is called “Cutting the Cord.” Its purpose is to sever the energetic cord between you and another person.
You can be as ceremonial or as casual as you like. You need to perform this ritual in sacred space, whatever that means to you. Simply, prepare yourself and your space by praying, meditating, lighting candles or incense, invoking angels, ancestors or the Four Elements. Whatever is appropriate for your spiritual beliefs and cultural practices will work to prepare you for this ritual.
To perform the basic ritual you need a string. It can be a thread, yarn, or a cord. If you want to choose a particular color, black is preferred. If you want to choose a particular length, a number of inches or feet that is a multiple of nine is preferred.
If you have a picture of yourself and a picture of the person from whom you are separating you can use pictures in this ritual. Otherwise simply write your name on a piece of paper and write the other person’s name on another piece of paper.
The physical action is simple. Roll up each picture or name and tie one end of the cord to each. With a pair of scissors or knife cut the cord in the middle. When you make the cut focus your emotions and visualize that you are severing the energy that ties you together.
If you want to add some power to your ritual you can use a candle to sever the cord with fire. You may choose a candle to represent your healing, strength and wholeness. You may “dress” the candle by anointing it with oil and inscribing it with symbols that are meaningful to you.
Dress the candle first, then tie the cord to the pictures or papers, then light the candle.
As you watch the candle burn see yourself as whole and well, and see your heart as healed.
When you use the candle to sever the cord picture each of you as whole and well.
Remember this is not meant to hurt the other person. This ritual should be healing and freeing for both of you.
Once you have cut the cord you are free to heal your heart, and to love again in healthier ways.
When the ritual is over dispose of the two lengths of cord in separate places, unless you are able to burn them. Likewise with the two pieces of paper. If you used pictures and want to keep them you should store them separately.
If you use a candle, burn it fully to support your heart as it heals.
With your heart healed, go forward merrily into life, being open to love and fulfillment.
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