The Difference Between Saying and Praying
Reciting memorized words isn’t enough!
Read MoreTarot Grandmaster
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Reciting memorized words isn’t enough!
Read MoreWhen we conflate good fortune with spiritual blessing, we lose the requirement for compassion, and nurture greed instead of strength of spirit.
Read MoreWe often mentally divide our world into “good people” and “bad people.” We want to be good people. We fear bad people. We try to raise children that turn into good human beings.
We struggle with self-esteem, worried that those around us will discover that, underneath our attempts at goodness, a bad person lurks.
When our kids are small, we teach them good behavior, but “being good” and “good behavior” are not the same thing as being a good person.
The idea that people, rather than behaviors, can be good or bad, is a harmful myth that is long overdue for busting.
What makes a person good, or bad, in our opinions? It’s pretty subjective, and entirely related to culture and context.
You can’t be good or bad at being human. You simply are human, capable of amazing courage, creativity, kindness, generosity, greed, callousness and cruelty.
There will always be people we like, and people we don’t like. There will always be people who do things we like, and people who do things we don’t like.
There are hurt people, ignorant people, and fearful people. We call these “bad people.” Sometimes they do things we don’t like. Sometimes they do things that hurt others.
There are healed people, thinking people, and charitable people. We call these “good people”. These people do things we like, and try to help people.
We can be good at the things we do. We can do good things for the world. We can handle situations badly. We can do things that have bad consequences. We can have good intentions that result in bad outcomes. None of that is the same as being a good person, or a bad person.
Instead of striving to be good, and worrying that we are bad, let’s strive to be authentic. Let’s work to release the things that hurt us. Let’s cultivate joy. Let’s raise our children to be curious, appreciative and responsible.
Rather than fearing the people that we believe to be bad, or fearing that we, ourselves, are bad, let’s recognize that fear itself is the source of most of the badness in the world.
We are all good humans, because to be good at being human, you simply have to be born.
Perhaps we would all do better at living on the planet if we accepted the flawed beauty of our humanity as the miracle that it is. Perhaps if we stop trying to be “good” and instead focus on being “healed” we’ll have fewer hurt people in the world.
“Good” and “bad” are subjective judgments that don’t mean much of anything, especially in describing people. When we strive to be good, we are striving for a meaningless and unattainable goal. When we strive for healing and growth, when we work to be authentic, to be kind, to be strong and to be creative, we become capable of doing great things. We succeed, and we become the people that help the world evolve.
Here’s another post about my favorite plant. It’s a seven-foot-tall angel trumpet (brugmansia) given to me as a potted plant by a snowbird returning to Canada.
Now my plant is as tall as a tree it’s large pink fragrant blossoms have caught the attention of my neighbors. Do I have any seeds to share? Not yet. But I read on the internet that the brugmansia is easy to grow from cuttings either left in water or simply stuck in the ground.
It was time to prune anyway.
When I was finished pruning I had seven sticks prepared according to the internet instructions.
I put four in individual jars of water. I stuck three in the ground.
I had only a wee bit of hope for the sticks in the water. I figured in a few days I would be dumping out the water and throwing sticks with mushy bottoms onto the compost heap.
I had even less hope for the sticks in the ground. I even had a few people tell me they were pretty sure you couldn’t just stick a stick in the ground and have it grow.
What really happened was life. Right before my eyes life happened. Each stick sprouted new life.
I quickly gave the sprouts in jars to my neighbors. Now I’m watching the sticks in the ground grow leaves and branches.
These sprouting sticks remind me of the suit of Wands in many tarot decks. The suit of Wands is related to the element of Fire. In some decks the Wands are shooting out flames. But in some decks the Wands are blooming and growing leaves and flowers.
In some traditions of Wicca a sprouting branch is the appropriate altar tool to invoke the element of Fire.
The metaphysical properties of Fire include life energy, passion, creativity and spirituality.
The ease with which my trumpet flower sticks became new life spoke to me of the fiery power of life force energy.
It reminded me of the miracles that happen around us every day, and of the miracle that life is every day.
That I’m making this discovery in the middle of December feels like the biggest miracle of all to this Yankee living in the Sunshine State.
There are lots of ways to be happy, and lots of ways to define “happiness.” Whatever happiness means to you, here are seven ways to help you get there.
Use your tools, resources and skills.
Know what you’re good at doing. You’ve got to have a true inventory of your resources. You’ve got be able to know where your talents lie. Sometimes our talents come to us so easily that we don’t realize their value. Sometimes we are so busy worrying about the resources we don’t have that we forget to utilize the resources we do have.
Don’t use fear as an excuse.
Fear is a natural human emotion. If you wait for a time when you are not afraid to step outside of your comfort zone you may wait forever. Maggie Kuhn said “Speak your mind even if your voice shakes.” If you want to be happy you have to do what is in your mind, even if all of you shakes.
Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness.
It’s great to have friends, a life partner and children. But we can’t make the people around us responsible for our happiness, and we can’t use a lack of people around us as an excuse to be unhappy.
Life isn’t fair so don’t expect it to be.
Inside most of us is a six-year-old stomping feet and yelling “That’s not fair!’ If we let our indignation at the large and small injustices in the world rule the way we see the world we will be victims and not survivors. Survivors are happy, victims are not.
Don’t make happiness a goal.
Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Happiness isn’t a goal, it’s a by-product of a life well-lived.” Even the Declaration of Independence refers to “the pursuit of happiness” as an inalienable right, not happiness itself. People who say "I just want to be happy" have missed the point completely. Don’t try to be happy. Try to be passionate. Try to be compassionate. Try to be creative. Try to be involved. Happiness will come naturally.
Don’t compare yourself with others.
Max Erhmann said it best in his famous poem “Desiderata.” “If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.” Tend your own garden without worrying about what your neighbor is growing. Your garden is what will make you happy if you let it.
Appreciate the small things in life.
A great cup of coffee, a beautiful sunrise, a bird’s song – it truly is the little things that make a difference. When we appreciate the little things the big things seem to fall into place. Those small moments of happiness often add up quickly.
It would be nice to believe that the brightest and best of us are those we elect to represent us in government. It would be wonderful if our nation’s leaders were true exemplars; those who would inspire our emulation as well as our confidence.
The fact is, the only things our nation’s leaders have been inspiring lately are laughter and anger.
There is an ancient spiritual tenet that states “as above, so below.” This means that whatever is happening on one level is happening on other levels.
I am finding this particularly true right now as I speak with with an larger-than-usual number of people who are having difficult times getting along and working with their co-workers.
Many people seem to be feeling stuck in their own beliefs about right and wrong. They are unwilling to compromise. Some feel that the ability to compromise is a moral weakness.
Even worse, they forget the big picture. They forget that they are paid to do a job and need to find a way to do it even if they are angry at their coworkers, even if they don’t like their coworkers and even if they don’t agree with their coworkers.
Does that sound like anyone we know?
Sometimes the lessons we learn from our exemplars are not lessons of how to be, they are examples of how not to be.
On an energetic or spiritual level we may have some power here. Energy can work from the bottom to the top as easily as it works from top to bottom.
If we all try really hard to get along, make compromises and get our jobs done the energy of compromise and responsibility might trickle right on up to the top. As above, so below – or vice versa.
The term “calling” is often used to describe the urge to embrace a religious vocation. But religious or not, we all have a calling. We all have gifts and talents to share. We all have a purpose.
Some people hear their calling early in life and have meaningful careers that support them financially and provide satisfaction and a sense of identity.
Others have jobs to sustain them and find their calling to be something they do for pleasure rather than profit.
There are people of all ages who haven’t heard their calling; people who wonder what they are “supposed” to be doing with their lives. Some people just don’t know where their passions lie. Some people don’t know what makes them happy.
If you are still searching for your calling, here are seven steps to help you find it.
Everyone has something important to do. Some people don’t find their calling until the second part of their life. Some people know it when they are in middle school. You calling may or may not be your profession, but it is something that will bring meaning to your life.
It’s never too late or too early to listen for your calling.
Tragedies happen everywhere. Some are natural and unavoidable; others are conceived and carried out by a human hand. So often in the face of violent tragedy we find ourselves wondering what role Higher Power has played.
Some believe that tragedy is a direct punishment from an angry God. Others believe that Higher Power lets us sort out our difficulties without celestial interference.
I think tragedy is an exercise in compassion.
It is our human nature to respond to violence with threats of more violence. It is our nature to respond to hurt with anger.
But each tragedy gives us the opportunity to rise above violence and to rise above anger. Each tragedy gives us the opportunity to make compassion our highest priority.
It is easy to hold bereaved families in our hearts and prayers. We grieve their losses. We hold our own loved ones a little closer. At least this time, we were spared.
It is harder to have compassion for the perpetrators of heinous crimes. How can we hold terrorists and murderers in our prayers?
It is right to seek justice for those whose actions cause fear, injury and death. But justice and compassion can coexist.
I think our challenge in the face of tragedy is to hold all people in compassion. Not just the victims and survivors, but also the perpetrators.
Energetically, the love and peace that flows when we hold compassion in our hearts may be exactly what is needed to elevate the consciousness of our planet.
Perhaps tragedy is visited upon us for exactly this reason. Perhaps, when our first response is compassion rather than anger, the need for tragedy will cease.
Anyone who drive faster that I do has a death-wish. Anyone who drives slower than I do is a slow-poke. Aren't those statements true for most of us?
It also shows up when we think about spirituality. Anyone who believes something more fanciful than what I believe is superstitious; anyone who can't believe what I believe is shallow.
In our American culture we maintain a high value on respecting each other's beliefs. I think most of us feel this is a good thing. It's one of our core founding principles.
But what happens when one person's beliefs infringe on someone else's rights? What if your beliefs make it acceptable, or even necessary, to be hateful to me?
We see these problems emerging from many cultural perspectives. Should Muslim Americans be allowed to practice Sharia law? Should Catholic employers be allowed to deny reproductive health coverage to their employees? Should fortune-tellers be allowed to scare clients into paying money to escort the deceased into heaven because it is part of their religious heritage? Should Born-Again Christians be allowed to discriminate against people based on sexual orientation?
Perhaps the litmus is this. If your beliefs cause you to hurt other people maybe you need to re-examine your beliefs. Maybe spirituality, no matter the history or heritage, needs to be about healing rather than hurting.
Maybe if you believe your God wants you to kill, hurt, manipulate or suppress others you just might be wrong. Maybe your scripture has been poorly translated or poorly interpreted. Maybe your scripture is just a reflection of the time in which it was written.
Perhaps of greater importance than religious text and tradition are the brains and hearts Higher Power gave us. We each have the ability to discern what helps from what hurts. Isn't that what any true Higher Power would want us to do?
Religious traditions may include some practices that seem silly to those from other cultures. But practicing those traditions can have power and significance to the individual and to the community.
Honoring our traditions can be wise, sacred and meaningful. But we also have to remember that some traditions can be hurtful. Traditions such as slavery and mutilation don't serve us - and never did.
Perhaps it is time to relinquish the aspects of our traditions that hurt while honoring the aspects that heal. Perhaps there is a space where reason, kindness and spirituality can meet.
I was raised in a Christian home. My parents, a minister and a Sunday school teacher, taught me the value of compromise. They assured me that without the skill of diplomacy I would never go far in life.
When a radical eco group (some called them eco-terrorists) used the slogan "No compromise in Defense of Mother Earth" I saw their point, and had sympathy for their cause. But I knew that without the ability to compromise their efficacy would be sadly limited.
I came across an interesting quote from Barry Goldwater today. In my personal iconography, Barry Goldwater was the first really conservative American of whom I was aware. I was surprised to see that Goldwater said the following words.
"Mark my word; if and when these preachers get control of the [Republican] party, and they're sure trying to do so, it's going to be a terrible damn problem. Frankly, these people frighten me. Politics and governing demand compromise. But these Christians believe they are acting in the name of God, so they can't and won't compromise. I know, I've tried to deal with them." - Barry Goldwater
He said these words quite late in his life, as the Christian Right was already beginning to succeed in their plan for domination of the Republican Party - a plan that has been frighteningly successful.
We do see this attitude prevalent in today's political arena. Politicians who are good at reaching compromises were once called great statesmen. Now, they are ridiculed for being "weak."
We see this same sort of philosophy amongst extremist Muslims. We should know this philosophy rarely leads to good things.
The sad thing that happens is this. When one side refuses to compromise, the other side becomes indignant, and starts acting as immaturely as their opponents. Suddenly, the adults we elect to lead us start sounding like children squabbling in the sandbox. Their supporters, regular citizens like you and me, sound even worse.
I do not believe that any God would be pleased to see people refusing to compromise in God's name. We often see Higher Power in the form of a parent. We call God "Our Father." We call Goddess "The Great Mother." Don't parents want their children to get along? Who in their right mind sees refusal to compromise as a Christian value?
I think part of the problem is the tendency to mix religion with superstition. It's a fine line, but a line we should be careful not to cross. Many religious extremists, both Christian and Muslim, truly believe their God will punish their country if their country as a whole does not follow their narrow doctrine.
On the other hand, the reasoning goes, if we obey a random and senseless set of rules derived from an ancient poorly translated and politically manipulated text, God will "bless" our country.
To me, this is a very limited view of Higher Power, and a poor way to practice politics.
Hanging on to unreasonable beliefs isn't religion at all; it's fear-based superstition. I was so proud of Bill Nye when he suggested that if your belief conflicts with obvious reality, you need to change your belief.
Higher Power is about truth, not about fear. To see Higher Power as angry rather than loving is disempowering both to us and to Higher Power's ability to bring true enlightenment to us.
Of all the many verses in the Bible my favorite is First John 4:8 - "He who loveth not knoweth not God, for God is love."
It's that simple.
I believe God has already blessed our country, and our planet, by giving us resources and abilities. Whatever happens after that isn't up to God, it's up to us.
On a more personal level, this new doctrine of non-compromise is tearing apart families. Anyone who has ever been in a marriage knows that marriage relies on compromise. Many marriages that now end in divorce might have been savable if both partners were willing to compromise with each other.
I talk to many people who are ready to sacrifice decent marriages because they have been taught that compromise and apology are signs of weakness. In actuality, compromise and apology can be signs of strength.
From spiritual texts far and wide, from St. Paul to the tarot, we learn another important lesson. Love is the greatest strength.
And so God is love, and love is the greatest strength. Yeah, that sounds right. And it sounds nothing like the philosophies being taught as truth today.